Decline

Episode 22 is definitely THE Asuka and Shinji episode, this is when Asuka’s thoughts are finally revealed. But let’s proceed in order.

The episode opens with Asuka and Kaji, the night before arriving in Japan. Asuka complains she and Kaji will have to stay apart for a while. Instead of encouraging Asuka flirtatious attempt, Kaji redirects her interest first to other boys: “You’ll have plenty of boyfriends when we get to Japan”, then to Shinji in particular: “I hear the Third Child is a boy”. Asuka doesn’t give up and declares “I’m ready anytime for you. Be it kissing and beyond.”, meaning if only Shinji had been receptive to Asuka’s attempts back in episode 09 or 15, he would have received more than a plain kiss.

Back to the present…Shinji is talking to Rei at the train station. Asuka watches the scene from afar and bitterly comments: “He spent an entire month dissolved inside Eva and he’s already back to his old ways. After all, I lost…and to the likes of you.”. Asuka’s jealousy and anger are still there, as it is shown in the following scene as well.

Asuka, Shinji, and Misato are having dinner when the phone rings. Asuka is on the way to leave the room, but refuses to pick up the call, angrily telling Misato “I’m not getting it. After all, it’s probably Kaji calling for you. You should get it.” and Shinji, who has stood up to answer, “Oh no, I’m sorry that our mighty invincible Shinji should have to be bothered with such a thing” and (to herself) “I can’t stand the way he is so aloof” i. As it turns out, the call is from Asuka’s step-mother. Without making too many compliments, Asuka snatches the phone from Shinji’s hand. Shinji is surprised to see that “When she’s speaking in a different language, she seems like a different person”. Asuka’s change of behaviour, from moody to cheerful, is actually just to keep up appearances, as she herself tells him once the phone call is over:

Shinji: You were on the phone quite a while.
Asuka: Well, it was just a routine periodic communication.
Shinji: I wish I could talk to my family.
Asuka: Well, it’s just for show. She’s not my real mother. But it’s not like I hate her or anything. I just feel uncomfortable talking to her.

Unfortunately, Asuka’s confession time doesn’t last long. As soon as she realises that she is divulging to Shinji such intimate details, she angrily tells him “I know I’ve hit the rock bottom when I get sympathy from you!”. Asuka shows her snobbish façade with Shinji, but she cannot hide, at least not to herself, how she really feels. Alone in the bathroom, Asuka explodes into rage and all her uneasiness surfaces. She can no longer stand to live with Misato and Shinji i and concludes her burst shouting: “I hate Misato! I hate Shinji! I have First even more! I hate Papa! I hate Mama! But most of all I hate myself!!”.

Asuka’s negative mood greatly affects her performance as a pilot. In just two days her synchronization ratio is barely over the starting indicator, something which makes Ritsuko consider a replacement. Misato tries to mitigate the situation, saying that Asuka’s pride “has been badly damaged. It’s hard to blame her after she was defeated so badly. Even worse, she feel Shinji beat her”. In a brief exchange between Asuka and Rei, Asuka confirms Misato’s idea, sarcastically praising Shinji’s abilities “When an Angel comes, our invincible Shinji will destroy it anyway”. However, we have already seen that Asuka’s defeat wasn’t solely on the “professional” side, there is another, stronger defeat Asuka suffered and soon enough she will have to come to terms with it….