Revelation

It is obvious that the Asuka of episode 22 is very different from the Asuka of episode 8. Given her current, troubled mental state, she isn’t in the conditions to fight an Angel. Still, when Arael appears Asuka, who was assigned as backup of Rei’s unit, realises it is her last chance to prove her ability. Unfortunately, things don’t go as planned. Asuka doesn’t even have the time to do something because Arael strikes first, hitting her with a strong attack that is directed at her psyche. It is during Arael’s mindrape, that Asuka eventually comes to terms with her real feelings for Shinji.

The first important scene shows what really happened after Asuka’s main attempts at getting closer to Shinji. Asuka’s reaction to Shinji’s rejection (so she perceives it) after the Wall of Jericho and the kiss sequences is mortification. Despite what she says, Asuka wanted to have Shinji in her bedroom and, analogously, she wanted him to kiss her.

The second sequence to be replayed is that of Asuka’s attempt to have Kaji over (the night after the failed kiss).
After smelling Misato’s perfume and abruptly letting go of Kaji’s arm, Asuka sees Shinji peeping out behind Kaji. Shinji’s apparition is a way to say it is him, who has replaced Kaji in her heart. Asuka can hardly come to terms with this, in fact she snaps at Shinji: “Why are you there?! You won’t do anything! You won’t help me! You won’t even hold me! No one! No one! No one!”.

Words aren’t the only important element in Asuka’s confession, it is also the images to which those words are associated that are important as well. For example the sentence “You won’t help me!” accompanies an image showing Shinji rescue Asuka when she was falling in the volcano, while “You won’t even hold me” refers back to the kiss scene.

At this point, Asuka has completely lost it. She has feelings for Shinji, who is incapable (from her point of view he is unwilling) to return those feelings she craves so much. As anticipated in the previous part, all her failed attempts at getting closer to Shinji took a huge toll on her. Given how proud Asuka is, accepting defeat doesn’t come easy. Besides, it is hard for her to admit to have feelings for someone like Shinji, an (apparently) fragile, clumsy, timid boy who is very far from the type of person one would imagine at her side.

If her failed love quest wasn’t enough, she had to be rescued by Rei, her rival. It’s no wonder that when Shinji tells her “I’m glad you’re OK”, she yells back “I hate everyone”. When all the failures pile up, Asuka’s confidence gradually decreases and so does her ability at piloting the Eva. This downward spiral culminates in two episodes: on the pilot front her Eva refuses to move (episode 23), on the personal front she probably tries to commit suicide and is found in a dirty bathtub (episode 24).