Similarities

On a closer inspection Asuka and Shinji aren’t much different and it is surprising how much they have in common.

Both their mothers worked for Project E and died because of that. Both their fathers abandoned them, instead of staying by their kids’ side after such a significant loss.

Asuka’s father quickly divorced, then re-married to a woman who is scared by Asuka. If Asuka’s father had any influence on her, it has to be found in her despise toward men. A despise that probably stemmed by her father’s behaviour. Shinji’s father went back to his work, leaving him in the care of a sensei. He bothered to contact Shinji only years later, because he needed him. If being abandoned wasn’t enough, Asuka and Shinji were replaced by something or someone else: a doll for Asuka, and Rei for Shinji.

Shinji’s feelings for his father fluctuate between two extremes. From deep hatred (as he shows after Gendo tells him to pilot Unit 01 i) to the desire of being sustained by him or, at least, being able to understand him (as when he asks Rei information about him i). Asuka loved her mother so much that she didn’t think her father was necessary. She could have been happy even without him, as long as she had her mum. Kyoko’s suicide left Asuka crushed, she felt as if she had been jilted by the person she trusted the most.

Being abandoned lead Asuka and Shinji to presume they must have been flawed. To make up for their losses and demonstrate they aren’t neither faulty, nor worthless they turn to the EVAs. And it is a bitter twist of fate that, in order to affirm themselves, they must turn on the very thing that deprived them of their mothers i.

For Asuka, the one and only pilot of Unit 02, piloting is the way to show everybody her greatness, to show she is special because that unit was made just for her. For Shinji it is the only way to be taken into consideration by other people. Without their work they think they are useless, that nobody cares about Asuka or Shinji as individuals. What interests to other people are the Second and Third Children.

When Asuka’s synchro-rate drops to zero she feels there is no reason left to live i. And Shinji has her same awareness. That is why after running away twice from Nerv he comes back; why he is annoyed when Asuka takes the lead i; why, despite his apparent modesty, he actually enjoys to receive compliments.

Outside their work life, there are very few people who are able to appreciate Asuka and Shinji for what they are and not (only) for what they do. Misato and Kaji partially managed to replace those doting parents Asuka and Shinji never had. Then there are friends (Hikari for Asuka, Toji and Kensuke for Shinji), who can cheer the atmosphere up and make Asuka and Shinji feel slightly more at ease.